I really hated to title this blog entry that way, but my man and I never get things right the first time. We broke up for two months before making it work, screwed up not going to a lawyer when we first had the boys, it took two lawyers to get the custody thing done, etc. Today I was devastated to see my baby on the sonogram and have the doctor tell me that it didn't have a heartbeat. I had miscarried....
My man immediately came home more upset than I expected him too. He's supposed to be my rock, not a crumbling mess! I was worried about telling the boys. I wanted to wait awhile on telling them I was pregnant to begin with, but they are old enough to figure out something was going on, so we told them about three weeks ago. Well, they are also old enough to figure out something had happened today before we could tell them. It's hard to sit there and tell them that the doctor didn't know what happened and that I did nothing wrong when I have so many questions. I believe that God has a plan and know I'm not supposed to question why, so I'm just praying that he'll send understanding my way in his time.
I think I'm staying home tomorrow. I can't deal with the decision on whether to wait until the baby passes or have a DNC yet. I have to get another blood test to determine my blood type and make sure that I'm not RH negative anyways. Thanks for all the prayers that have already been sent my way!
Fire in the Hole!
1 day ago