I'm sitting here at school having a rough day. I woke up Wednesday with an overwhelming calm feeling. My faith in God and knowing he does have a plan for me is helping. I think it's also the fact that nothing is really happening yet. I'm not having any bleeding or discharge. I knew a day would come soon when I would break down. Everyone has shared their stories or wishes for me and it's been eye opening as to how common miscarriages really are. I went to school yesterday and was able to talk to others. I felt like I handled myself well.
I hope today is not that day that I break, though. The morning started rough with B in a crabby mood. My man took care of him, but he leaves before we do. B held it together until I dropped him off at school. I just looked at him and said we would deal with it when we got home. I came to my school and was confronted (by a friendly face) and right away I thought I would start crying. My job is providing a distraction (how can 75 giggly first graders not do that?), but it's the quiet times that are hard. Not many people knew at this school, but now I'm headed to a school where everyone knows. I just don't like all the awkwardness...
I just don't know if I can handle the waiting....I may have to call Monday and book the surgery.
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